Guaranteed to get you laid or smacked.
Dedicated to Mike Hunt.

*Is that a keg in your ass cause I really want to tap it.*

*Hey I know Anthony Saulnier wanna go up stairs and uh, talk?*

*Are those space pants? Cuz your ass is out of this world.*

*You have calves that would make any cow jealous.*

*You have a great smile. Too bad that's not all you're wearing.*

*Do you work at KFC? Cuz your finger lickin good.*

*Let's play war, I'll lay down and you blow the hell out of me.*

*Do you need a gardener, I can trim your bush for free.*

*Hey baby, want to see something swell?*

*If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.*

*If you are what you eat I can be you all moring.*

*Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.*

*Ok Im gonna have sex with a bunch of people your first.*

*I may not be Fre Flinstone, but I will sure make your bed rock.*

*Is your dad retarted? Cause you sure are special.*

*Is your dad a baker? Because you have some nice buns.*

*Word of the day is legs. Lets go home and spread it.*

*Got any Italian in you? Want some?*

*They say milk does you body good.... so when are you gonna start drinking it you whore, come into my room and take off you clothes you bitch.*

*Sleep with me and I will put in a good word for you with Saulnier.*